Confidence-building blunders that some leaders make.

Confidence-building blunders that some leaders make.

By: Greg Nash

I have mentioned in many of my earlier blogs the great benefits scouting offers our youth and adults. The Scout way is learning by doing and gradual confidence building.

Leaders back up their youth learning experiences by giving positive praise and moral support. But can we overpraise?

We all have the right intentions when we boost our youth member’s confidence but sometimes our efforts backfire and have the reverse effect.

Here are five mistakes leaders commonly make when trying to give their youth self-confidence a boost:

1. Over-praise: It is easy to become a praise junkie so that youth are praised for standing up straight. “Wow! You are standing up. What a guy!” Go easy on the praise. Too much of it and it means nothing. Avoid over-praising. Keep praise for genuine efforts and important results.

2. Accept second-rate efforts: Sometimes we lower the bar for our youth thinking we are helping them, but we could be doing them a disservice. Praise and encouragement are different and there are times when they need to be separated.
Instead: Differentiate between process and results. If the results are below par but their effort is parred or above then be ecstatic about that. Our youth do know the difference.

3. Use a peer or friend as a model: Sometimes in our efforts to inspire youth members, we use their peers or friends as role models. Comments such as “Look how hard Ben works on his badges?” actually discourage our youth rather than encourage them. Compare youth only with themselves, not others.
Instead: Develop the notion of Personal Bests so your youth focuses on improvement.

4. Mix encouragement with criticism: There is nothing like bursting a youth’s bubble by praising them up for good work followed by a ‘but… you could do better” or something equally deflating. Keep feedback and criticism for another time and let them enjoy a bit of praise.
Instead: Give your youth a feedback sandwich. That is, when giving them feedback encourage them first, tell them how they can do better, and then give them more encouragement. This maintains their confidence while giving them the skills to do better.

5. Practise conditional acceptance: Sometimes we accept efforts from our youth only if the results measure up to lofty adult standards. For instance, if your ten-year-old Cub Scout does their very best to run a game but was a little forgetful in explaining all the rules, then leaders stand by and avoid the temptation to fix it up.
Instead: Be thankful that there making an effort, and be assured, will get better with "timely" leader engagement and practice.

We all have the best of intentions when we try to boost the self-confidence of children and young people however if we are to do something we may as well do it well. There is a lot to learn about confidence-building. Scouting is meant to be fun for all concerned.

So remember the cup is always half full rather than half empty and there is no room for sink or swim approach to learning in scouting.